Amidst the funeral cars, flowers and other traditions of today’s funeral services, there is a certain procedure to follow to ensure an ethical and respectful ceremony. Sometimes, though, the funeral director fails to conduct a service in this manner. That’s where the Funeral Ethics Association, or FEA, can help.
Before I tell you what the FEA actually does, I have a story that relates. About 12 years ago, my uncle passed away. Although it was never officially declared, we think he committed suicide because he was running his car on a cold night in a closed garage. But either way, the family didn’t want any of the speakers during the ceremony to discuss that. The minister did a great job of skirting the issue. After his eulogy, though, the funeral director stood up and said, “This is an especially grievous death because it’s a suicide.”
If that was the only thing wrong, it might not have been so bad. But the funeral director did other things that we didn’t appreciate. He didn’t provide funeral cars for the family to get to the gravesite. Family members had to drive themselves to the grave instead of mourning in the back of the customary funeral cars that are designed for their convenience. He didn’t oversee the embalming process and blood settled in various places on the body as a result of shoddy workmanship. He also didn’t have working bathrooms during the days of the visitation and the ceremony. These and other problems are exactly why my aunt contacted the FEA the day after the funeral. I’ll tell you what happened from there on Wednesday.