Ten Tips for Planning a Funeral, Part 2

nyYesterday, we discussed some of the basics of planning a funeral. But there are still more decisions to make in this time of extreme emotions and sorrow. Here are some more of those decisions to help you stay organized and feel less overwhelmed.

Pick someone to do a eulogy. At many funerals, a member of the clergy does the eulogy and reads the obituary of the deceased. Other funerals simply have friends and family members say a few words. But many also combine these two ideas into the service. Whichever way sounds best for you is fine. It’s the last time to say goodbye so don’t worry about the time factor.

Decide if someone should sing or play a song. If you have a family member or friend that sings or plays an instrument, you could have someone play the deceased’s favorite song or some other touching song. This just adds another memorable element to the day and the celebration of the loved one’s life.

Decide on the ceremony music. Most funeral homes have music softly playing in the rooms where the funeral is going to be held. But you can also make a mix of songs that they can play instead. These songs can include the deceased’s favorite bands or some hymns that were particularly special. Some have even chosen to have recordings of the deceased singing or playing if that was something they enjoyed.

Choose the flowers. Some funeral directors work directly with local flower shops or you can visit your favorite place to pick out the flowers.

Place an obituary in the newspaper and choose a poem for the funeral’s program. The funeral director will typically help with these decisions, too. They typically have a number of poems to choose from for the programs and pre-printed examples to choose from. They also have a great deal of experience in writing obituaries so they can guide you through that process as well.

Decide who rides in the funeral cars and who drives their own cars. Typically, the immediate family rides in the funeral limousines on the way to the burial and everybody else drives their own cars. But this decision is up to you.

Funeral directors are there to help make the process much easier in your time of need. Use their services and everything will be just fine.

10 Tips for Planning a Funeral, Part 1

funeral carsWhen a loved one passes away, emotions are running wild. Unfortunately, that’s the time when some major decisions must be made if they didn’t plan their own funeral while they were still living. The impact of losing someone and then planning their funeral within the span of a day or two can be overwhelming. But here’s a brief and simple guide that everybody should memorize so they know how to handle the situation when it does happen.

Gather with the family of the loved one. The children and parents of the loved one will likely be making the majority of the decisions so that’s usually the core group. But in some families, aunts and uncles will also be very close to the deceased. The main thing is to gather together and discuss the decisions in a rational manner.

Consult with a funeral director or clergy. In today’s world, you can’t really have a funeral or bury somebody without the help of a funeral director. There are certain guidelines and regulations that you must meet and they vary from state to state. A funeral director is the best way to ensure you meet these regulations for your particular state.

Decide on the type of burial. This is an important decision. Should you cremate the body or have a traditional burial? Usually, the deceased will have expressed a preference before the die or they may have religious beliefs that help you make your decision.

Decide on the type of service. Do you want to have the service at the funeral home or a church? Does your state allow home funerals? If so, that could be an option as well. Do you want more of a religious ceremony or a simple memorial service? Your decision on the type of service will also be a factor in who you choose to lead the service.

Pick some pallbearers. The pallbearers typically consist of six men who knew the deceased. It could be nephews, son-in-laws or any other family members or friends. Also, decide if you want to have them ride in one of the funeral cars or if they should drive themselves.

Since there is still so much more to cover, I’ll post more tips tomorrow.

Online Funeral Planning, Part 2

funeral coach dealerYesterday, we discussed a new website – TheFuneralSite.com – that gives people the resources needed to plan their funeral online. We just touched the tip of the iceberg about this new business, though.

The website began as a way to connect people with funeral-related products and services in their area. Even though the couple who manage and run the site can afford to focus on the site full-time from the comfort of their home, it’s free for people to use. The website’s owners make their money from funeral homes and vendors paying to include a link to their products.

But the main part of the site is more focused on the local funeral services and products in Washington. It covers the greater Seattle area, including Everett to Tacoma and other parts of the metropolitan region. It has a map of funeral homes in the area and gives ideas of other places where you can have a funeral. In addition, it has local lists of musicians, clergy and event planners that are in the area and available to do funerals. You might even find vendors in your local area that will rent out classic automobiles that you can use as funeral cars instead of the traditional limousines. How’s that for going out in style?

Once you go on the site and use the funeral planning resources, there is an option to email the plans to your family and friends so they know what to do in case you die. Once you have your funeral planned, you can truly rest in peace.

Who Else Wants to Plan Their Funeral Online?

funeral carsHave you ever been awakened at 3:00 in the morning with the thought of planning your own funeral? If you’re like me, that’s happened a few times. But now with a Washington-based funeral business, you can plan your “final goodbye” online and from the comfort of your own home.

The new website – TheFuneralSite.com – lets you fill out a list of questions that you can use to plan your own funeral. From the number of funeral cars you want to the music to play at the ceremony, everything is covered on this innovative website.

David Johnson, owner of the company that runs the website, said this is the next big thing in funeral planning. “This sort of picks up on a trend we’re seeing, how so much of a person’s life is impacted by the Web these days,” he said. “We’re sort of bringing that over to the funeral-planning side of things. It’s sort of a last frontier of the Internet.”

The website launched in October and Johnson runs it full-time with his wife, Anna Copley. In addition to funeral planning services, the website also offers funeral resources. It’s also one of the first websites to offer local funeral guides in the nation.

With such an innovative website, it deserves more than just one blog post. We’ll have more information about TheFuneralSite.com in Wednesday’s post.

Are Prepaid Funerals the Way to Go?

funeral limousine dealerMore and more people are planning their funerals in advance these days. With terminal illnesses and people living longer, thinking about one’s own death is more common than it used to be. Many older people are also paying for their funerals in advance to save their loved ones the burden of dealing with it when the time comes. There are also several other advantages to pre-planning your funeral. Following are a few of those benefits.

1. You make your own funeral and burial arrangements. Some people might actually worry about where they’re going to be buried if they leave the decision up to someone else. When you preplan your own funeral, though, you decide everything from the outfit you wear in the casket to the number of funeral cars for the family and which burial plot to spend eternity.

2. Pre-planning your funeral saves money. After paying for your funeral, you could live another 10, 20 or even 30 years. But since you paid in advance, you don’t have to worry about the rising cost of the service or your family paying extra when you pass away. It’s all taken care of the minute you sign your name on the contract. You can also make more rational and logical decisions because you’re not immersed in emotions at the time.

3. Your money is safe and secure. Some states have laws that guarantee that a person’s money for a prepaid funeral is insured. As long as you deal with a reputable funeral home that places your money in a trust, everything should be fine. Be sure to ask for copies of everything and keep them in a safe place for future reference.

Can Death-Related TV Provide Catharsis?

funeral carsDoes the sight of funeral cars in a procession make you sad? When you see a funeral home or something else related to death, do you get a lump in your throat thinking about a loved one’s death in the past? If so, TV might be a way to overcome this. One blogger lists five ways in which the show Six Feet Under has helped her be more comfortable with the idea of death.

1. “Everything. Everyone. Everywhere. Ends.” This tagline for the show points out a reality that some people don’t want to face. But once you come to grips with it, life is easier. Nobody gets out of this world alive and some leave it sooner than we expect. The show constantly reminds us of this in each episode.

2. The absence of grieving is acceptable. In one episode toward the end of the series, one character explains that he’s just tired of grieving. Instead of being sad, he just wants to make every minute of life count. There is a time for grieving, but it’s okay to let it go and move on once that time is over.

3. Death comes in the most unexpected ways. At the beginning of each episode, somebody dies. Sometimes it’s a normal way like choking on something and other times it’s as unusual as nearly getting decapitated from a street sign when standing up through the moon roof in a limousine.

4. The show makes you appreciate life.
For many people, being around death makes them appreciate life even more. Some characters in the show exhibit this at times since they are always around the idea of death in the family-owned funeral home.

5. Six Feet Under gives you perspective. When you think of death as an inevitable part of life, it makes you prioritize your life and think about what’s really important.

If you’ve never seen the show, rent it on DVD. Just be prepared to get enthralled and emotionally invested in watching these different people experience life in so many ways.

More about Australia’s Funeral Songs

baltimoreBefore you follow the funeral cars to the cemetery in Australia, there’s a chance you could hear your favorite rock ‘n’ roll song at the ceremony. Yesterday, we posted a blog about how people are foregoing the traditional funeral music for their favorite secular song. Today, we’re going to give you an idea of some of the top songs they choose and some of the more unusual requests.

Here are the ten most popular funeral songs as reported by Australia’s Centennial Park Cemetery Authority:

10. Danny Boy (various artists)
9. Abide with Me
8. Over the Rainbow (Judy Garland)
7. We’ll Meet Again (Very Lynn)
6. Amazing Grace (various artists)
5. The Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler)
4. Unforgettable (Nat King Cole)
3. Time to Say Goodbye (Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman)
2. Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
1. My Way (Frank Sinatra)

That’s the list for the tearjerkers, but here is a list that’s sure to bring a smile to the faces of the mourners.

10. Australian Football League songs
9. I’m Too Sexy (Right Said Fred)
8. Hit the Road Jack (Willie Nelson)
7. Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead (Song from The Wizard of Oz)
6. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Monty Python)
5. I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead (Bon Jovi)
4. Another One Bites the Dust (Queen)
3. Highway to Hell (AC/DC)
2. Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)
1. The Show Must Go On (Queen)

Are any of these songs on your list? Or do you have any that you would add? We’d also like to hear if you think this is appropriate or if funerals should be occasions that are only meant for solemn songs? Let us know what you think!

Are Funerals Becoming the Place to Rock Out?

funeral carsIn Australia, more and more mourners are noticing that funerals have rock songs playing instead of the traditional funeral-type music. It’s a new phenomenon that could make its way to North America pretty soon.

Some of the songs might surprise you, too. Some people who have terminal illnesses plan their own funeral. As a way to get “one last laugh,” they choose some odd choices, including Queen’s “Another Bites the Dust” or “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz. Other songs are fairly typical and expected, like Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” other popular heart-wrenching songs.

But playing a person’s favorite rock song or songs isn’t the only way funerals have become modernized. In addition to the normal fare like shiny funeral cars and flowers, some Australian funerals have plasma screens and webcams to create an atmosphere that’s more like a celebration of the person’s life rather then mourning.

We’ll report more about this changing trend in tomorrow’s post. Until then, if you could plan your own funeral, what are some songs you would like to play? Would you prefer the usual organ-type music or would you want your friends and family to remember you a different way? We’d love to hear your thoughts.

The Purpose of Funeral Cars

funeral limousine dealerFunerals are something that most of us will go through at some point in our lives. However, these occasions are also some of the most misunderstood of anything we’ll experience. When planning a funeral, the funeral cars are a simple yet vital part of the event. Following is the general order in which these cars travel during the procession on the way to the cemetery.

The first funeral car is usually the one with the purple rotating light on top. This car leads the procession and is responsible for stopping at red lights or making sure the intersection is clear before leading the other cars through.

The second car is usually the hearse or funeral coach that carries the deceased. This is the most recognizable of all the funeral cars.

Next is the family car or cars. Depending on how large the family is, there may be only one or several of these vehicles. They typically carry the immediate family, including spouses, children and parents of the deceased.

Other cars involved in the procession include the flower car, which carries the flowers from the ceremony to the cemetery and other mourners who have attended the funeral. Sometimes, there is even a special car for the pallbearers. This usually comes after the family cars but before the line of other mourners.

Will Green Funerals Change the Way We Do Funerals?

funeral carsOne of the newest trends in the funeral business is “green funerals.” Although these practices stick close to traditional funerals, there are some differences.

One of the main differences for green funerals is the lack of chemicals. This means that bodies do not get embalmed like in traditional funerals. In addition to that, some places are setting aside natural wooded areas where families can bury loved ones away from the normal cemetery setting. Chemicals and preservatives are prohibited from these areas to keep them as natural as possible.

Another difference is the coffin. Many people who want to help the environment even after their death are either choosing wooden coffins or, where allowed, no coffins at all. The main idea behind this is natural decomposition, almost like a “dust to dust” mentality. Some family members are even making the coffins for their loved ones.

More families are holding wakes and funerals within the home these days, too. This is a growing trend which allows families to feel more involved in the process of saying “goodbye.” In addition to that, it’s also more cost-effective.

Green funerals are quickly becoming popular along with everything else that’s turning “green.” Other things to look for are more efficient funeral cars, more cremations and even more caskets that biodegrade quickly. However you look at it, green funerals might just be here to stay.